Preparing to move into a smaller space

by Christian Schreiber, staff blogger

Living in a house — even a modest house — for 25, 35, 40 years or more, you gradually accumulate a lot of "stuff." Furniture, nic-nacs, small appliances, tools — some of these arrive as gifts from other people, some are acquired for a specific need, and others seem to simply materialize in the junk drawer as if they've been there all along.

For most of your life, this is not a problem. You manage to find a place for everything, and you get used to having it around. But when you begin thinking about moving into a retirement community, you suddenly realize how much "stuff" you own. In fact, your abundance of material possessions may cause you to put off the move (even though you know it would be best) just because you don't want to face the daunting task of downsizing.

Here are a few steps to get you started, and a few tips that may make the process less of an emotional drain:

1. Tackle one room at a time.
2. In that room, take everything out of the drawers, closets, cabinets, and cubbies, and spread it on the floor where you can survey it.
3. Bring a large garbage can into the room, and one good-sized box for each of your children, and one good-sized box you will take to your local thrift store.
4. Put in the garbage can anything you haven't used in the past year. If you really can't bear to throw it away, put it in one of your children's boxes. If you know none of your children want it or need it, put it in the thrift store box. Once you put something in a box, you are not allowed to take it back out.
5. If you are having trouble putting things in the boxes, remind yourself that there are people who really need the things that you are not using. Hoarding them will not make you happy and will not bless others.
6. Put the items you really use back in the places they came from. Then leave the room and shut the door.
7. Call your children and tell them to come pick up their boxes. Ask them to drop off the thrift store box too. If your children do not live in the area, ask the thrift store to come and pick up your donation.
8. Repeat for each room in your house. Then do your garage.

Of course, a lot of the things you are not actually using may be difficult to get rid of because of the emotional attachment you have to them. Consider these options:

1. Have your children or grandchildren with you while you're sorting through your things. When you encounter an item that's difficult to part with, tell them the story of why it's so meaningful to you. Once they know the background, one of them may choose to keep it.
2. Take a photo of the item, or have someone take a photo of you with the item. In your new home you can display these photos of items from your old home, or keep them in an envelope marked "Earthly Treasures."

Change can be difficult, and moving into a smaller home can be one of the most difficult changes we face. But going into the process proactively can help transform it from drudgery to adventure, and can offer you new opportunities to make meaningful connections with your family.

When is it time to move your parents?

by Christian Schreiber, staff blogger

The ironic thing about senior living communities is that no one looks forward to moving in, but many people who do move in wish they had done so sooner! As Patricia Grace, Senior Care Examiner, writes in her article about this subject, "Although making the decision to move a loved one can be very emotional and difficult, once it has been accomplished it can lead to an improved quality of life for everyone involved."

Most people who are considering an Independent Living community are looking for (1) freedom from the chores associated with owning a home, and/or (2) increased social interaction. If your parents are at this stage, their decision is probably not need-driven, but preference-driven. They may ask for your input, but they will most likely make the final decision themselves.

When Assisted Living is under consideration, it's usually because there is a need for more help — and a desire to avoid a fall or other medical incident. Usually when Assisted Living becomes necessary, the adult children are more involved in the decision-making process. If you've started noticing that your parents are more forgetful, more unsteady on their feet, or more withdrawn, it may be time to suggest a series of "field trips" to some Assisted Living communities in your area. Many will offer a free lunch when you tour, so you can experience the dining options available at that location.

If your parents are resistant to the idea of even researching possible communities, you might begin by participating together in an event hosted by the community. By getting on a community's mailing list, you can be notified of upcoming events, and you can casually invite your parents to attend with you. While at the event, you might find opportunities to tour the campus or ask questions of the staff in a way that doesn't offend your parents or make them suspicious!

Your parents probably know that you only want what's best for them. If you explain your worries about their safety, and remind them that medical care after a crisis is more expensive than preventive care now, they may be willing to consider a move.

Take your time, but start your search as soon as possible. You want to have your plan in place before you need it.

And try to think of the process as a project you're working on with your parents, a journey you're sharing together. By participating with them (instead of taking over for them), you'll learn things about each other and enjoy the experience more.

Veterans Coffee perks up Saratoga Grove seniors

by Christian Schreiber, staff blogger

When Commander Woody Kawaters of the Downers Grove American Legion (Post 80) contacted Joan Lawson about hosting a "Veterans Coffee," she was thrilled. "He just wanted to do something to show respect to our veterans," says Joan, the Life Enrichment Coordinator at Saratoga Grove Christian Retirement Community. "I thought that was wonderful. These men deserve to be remembered."

So, this Saturday, June 27, Commander Kawaters and one or two other officers will bring donuts to the bistro at Saratoga Grove. They'll spend an hour or so visiting with the 6-8 veterans who currently live on campus. And they'll return, once a month, to fellowship again and keep developing those coffee-fueled relationships.

The Saratoga Grove veterans are already eagerly anticipating these monthly visits. "For one thing," says Joan, "the men are a little outnumbered here, so it will be nice to have this all-men activity they can be a part of!

"But also, it's nice to know their service has not been forgotten. We owe them so much."

If you want to express your appreciation for one of our veterans, feel free to send a card or stop by and visit. Saratoga Grove is located at 3460 Saratoga Avenue in Downers Grove. Call 630-971-1995 for more information.