8 Tips for Visiting a Loved One

by Christian Schreiber, staff blogger

You want to visit Mom, but you know it's going to be difficult. Her memory isn't good, and it's difficult to carry on a conversation. Add to that the guilt you feel — about not wanting to go, about not going often enough, about letting her grow old — and your visit is bound to be an exercise in frustration. But a little preparation can ease a lot of pressure. Here are some ideas:

1. Ask a family member or pastor to join you. That way you won't have to be solely responsible to keep the conversation going.
   
2. Plan your visit during a scheduled activity that you and your loved one can participate in together.
   
3. Use your time to help with some daily tasks, like opening mail or watering the plants.
4. Before your visit, call a friend or family member who lives out of town and ask questions about what he or she has been doing. Then relay that information to your loved one during your visit.
   
5. Talk about your children — bring them with if possible! Or talk about kids in your neighborhood or church.
   
6. Ask for advice — how to fix something, where to plant something, how to deal with a difficult co-worker, where to go on vacation, etc. It's a great way to make your loved one feel involved and valued.
   
7. Ask about favorites — food, color, music, restaurant, movie, recipe, season, holiday, animal, day of the week, job, sport, book, etc. Share your own favorites too!
   
8. Give yourself permission to make it a short visit, less than 30 minutes. It's not the amount of time that matters; it's the time itself. You might even feel that you can visit more often if the visits are shorter.
   

These are just eight ideas to get you started. For more tips — including conversation starters — visit the page on our website: Tips for Visiting a Loved One.

Banners of Love

by Christian Schreiber, staff blogger

The banner ministry at First Reformed Church in Lansing (Illinois) has been designing and creating banners for 10 years. The four women who comprise this ministry estimate they've created at least 60 banners for their church — marking the liturgical seasons, various Scripture truths, and Christian holidays. 

When fellow church member and Providence employee Nancy Van Drunen approached the women about creating banners for the Providence campus in Palos Heights, they agreed.

Ruth Dekker, Kathy Carlson, Doris Dokter, and Ann Brouwer estimate they spent 8-10 hours on each of the nine banners that now adorn the Providence chapel. The banners were dedicated in a special ceremony last fall. Chaplain Phil Tjolker led the group in a service that included singing, Scripture, and a responsive reading. "Father in heaven, we dedicate these banners to your service," participants prayed in unison. "We pray that they will glorify you and bless your saints who worship you in this place. In all things may Christ be praised! Amen."

Tootsie

by Melanie Jongsma, Director of Communications

Emma Jordan is 95, but she looks younger. I visited her a few weeks ago at the Providence campus in Palos Heights, Illinois, where she happily told me about herself.

She had worked as an office manager for 34 years, and then her company moved, and she wanted a job closer to home. So she quit her office manager job on a Friday and was driving home past the new Tootsie Roll company in Chicago. They were advertising for workers, so she stopped in and applied for the Public Relations position — and was hired! She started with Tootsie Roll that Monday (she was 58 at the time).

Emma loved Tootsie Roll and worked there for 30 years. As the PR person she worked with Ernie Banks and Stan Musiel, who were involved in various promotions. She also remembers a time when the company did an air drop of Tootsie Rolls for American soldiers in Korea. "It was actually a mistake," she says. "The soldiers had all kinds of code words for ammunition, and 'Tootsie Rolls' was one of them. Someone in that company placed an order for Tootsie Rolls, meaning ammo, and we shipped them actual Tootsie Rolls! But they were glad because they didn't have any food, so now they finally had something to eat."

"They say you get tired of company candy, but I never did," says Emma. She still loves Tootsie Rolls. When she was in the hospital soon after her retirement, the company sent Tootsie Rolls to all the nurses. And when she moved to Providence two years ago, the company sent more Tootsie Rolls. "I ate just as many as anyone else!" she laughs.

She came to Providence on the recommendation of her doctor. "If I had to go to a nursing home," he told her, "I would go to Providence of Palos Heights. They have the best nursing staff of anywhere in Chicago." So she took him at his word and moved in without even considering any other places.

I'm glad she did! It was a lot of fun to meet Emma — not only a very nice lady, but also a fellow Tootsie Roll fan!